This week, I am honored to have a good friend of mine acting as a guest contributor to Mindful Moment.

Allan Todd has been a confidant and associate of mine for a number of years and he's a charter member of my Mastermind Group. Allan wears a number of hats, among them: father of two teenagers, Toastmaster, Speaker, Presenter, and he is also my manager.

And Allan is a Realtor, with ReMax Professionals Inc., serving the Greater Toronto Area. He is an active member of several major national and world wide real estate networks. If he does not service the area you plan to buy or sell a home in, he can refer a top producing agent to you. I invite you to visit his website at www.allantodd.ca

ENJOY NOW!

He sounded rather distraught on the phone, so I invited him to drop in for a chat. It was a beautiful spring afternoon warm in the sun, with a cool breeze, so we sat in the garden.

And he began to tell me all that was troubling him. I listened as he told me about his unreasonable boss, the demands of being a father and his his disagreements with his spouse. And as I listened, it became clear that he was trying to affect change in his life by attempting to change "them!"

"Oh no, my friend," I told him. "You cannot change anyone but yourself."

He thought about it for a while and said, "You're right, I cannot change them. But the situation is so frustrating!"

"You cannot change anyone but yourself," I told him. "But you can influence a change in them."

"I can?" he asked, "How can I do that?"

"First you must accept the situation the way it is. Your new mantra is, 'It's just the way it is.'"

I explained that the situation was not right or wrong, good or bad. It was just the way it is and once he accepted it the way it is, he could then explore ways he could employ to change the situation.

In times like this, I have always found strength in the prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference between the two."

What he needed was a change in perspective. A change in his perspective. And that was entirely under his control. He was quiet for the longest time. I already knew the power of silence. I said nothing.

He called again last week to thank me for the insight and to tell me he has changed his perspective. He has learned that he cannot change "them." He can only change himself. And he has made those changes in himself and those around him have noticed the change in him and the situation is no longer causing frustration in him.

And he told me he has found peace in his new mantra, "It's just the way it is!"

- Allan Todd

The best way to deal with other people - is to just let them be other people.

After all, that's how you want them to deal with you.

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